health advisory plus ultimate blooper mania of 2008--its my shit!

Enlarge at your own risk!

First of all pasintabi po sa mga kumakain dyan. If you can't take what in the heck I am going to tackle about, you are free to close this page! We are on a democratic country by the way and I am pertaining to all of the pinoys here and there!hellow!haha!;p

Honestly, I don't know how to start it but basically most of us are ashame na minsan we are so natatae na! Yung tipong nagtataasan na lahat ng balahibo mo, naninigas ka na sa lamig at pinagpapawisan na rin ng malamig dahil hindi mailabas ang sama ng loob mo! Namimilipit ka na sa sakit at hindi mapakali sa isang lugar gusto mo gawin mo ito ng masinsinan sa isang lugar! Dude, simple lang sagot dyan; natatae ka lang!haha! Naku diretsahan na tayo--usapang tae naman!

I admit first time kong nagkalat sa office dahil dito. Damn, I was sooo fuccckkkinn constipated for almost three days and I was wondering why since I do eat a lot. Aba, inaantay ko talaga ang araw na yun pero hindi talaga dumadating hanggang sa nanyari ang hindi ko inaasahang manyari. Shit! I was in a middle of my call to a customer when I felt something funny within my body system. Napapabooty shake na ako nun and again usual symptoms of natatae occured. I had no choice during that but to make a lame excuse to the customer so that I can sue him away in order for me to take the said shit out of me.haha! I transfer the customer to another department dahil mas matindi ang tawag ng kalikasan kaysa kay customer! Damn talaga!

I thought I was going to faint during that time dahil I was also feeling dizzy dahil sa putik na taeng yan! woooohhh!!! I went to the washroom all by myself very secretly kasi nakakahiya nga naman na ibrodkast pa di ba? But when I got there, damn! Bakit walang lumalabas??I stayed almost 10 mins pero wala pa rin...I got no choice but to get out--I'm still feeling natatae though! that sucks! really really sucks! Eh may tendency akong himatayin pag hindi talaga nailabas!hay!

To cut the story short, I approached Donna (my teammate) at the pantry while she was taking her lunch. I whispered " DOnna, malaki problema ko! NAtatae ako pero ayaw lumabas!" then she asked "Why? Ok let's get a medicine" SO she approached Tam and thank God talaga and Thank Tam kasi binilhan ako ng dulcolax...

Pero teka lang!!! All I thought was kateam ko lang nakakaalam ng sikreto ko! After I let my poop out! Somebody shouted and clapped "YES SUCCESS! ANONG ANAK MO?" Punyemas halos lahat ng BATCHMATES Ko nagstanding ovation! Sabay hirit ko naman na"its a baby girl SHIT!" Oh myyy!!!so nakakahiya!graabbbeee!!!

by the way, after dropping dulcolax --nawala nga constipation ko nagdiarrhea naman ako!labo talaga di ba?haha! and take note yung second session nilabas sa rob place!hahaha!thank you kate for helping me out!haha!

two words for that: KABOOM KABOOM!

****

Lesson to that incident? Hmmmm...huwag ng mahiya tumae o sabihing teka lang tatae ako ah!Basically HUWAG PIGILIN dahil talagang masama...It's because may nanyaring incident sa friend ko na kung ikukuwento ko parang laughtrip pero grabe its not funny at all! And I bet all of you does not want to experience what she went thru dahil sa hindi pag-tae!grabbbeee!

She was actually rushed to the hospital about 2 weeks ago out of that reason. Prior to that thing 2 weeks na rin siyang hindi nakakapoop and whenever she tries to poop umaatras tae niya paitaas..imagine that? super constipated na di mo malaman. Ayun dahil naospital siya naudlot ang gimik ng lola mo.hehe! Anyhow, what happened was dahil sa toxins na nakastore sa body system niya at di nilalabas ng excretory system, ayun naapektuhan ang blood cells (or eclavu) ng lola mo, nagkalagnat and all that and halos nagkaroon o muntik ng magkaroon ng infection yung blood cells niya ata due to the said freaakkkinn toxins! Grabe tindi pala ng impak ni tae!shit nga talaga! At mga amigo dito ako nawindang! She went thru a LACERATION (tama ba spelling?) procedure wherein may ipapasok lang naman na super laking suppository (na halos sinlaki daw ata ng t*t* ng kabayo) sa ANUS or sa BUTTHOLE para mailabas lahat ng toxins sa katawan niya. I can't simply imagine what she went thru! Kaloka! And take note para na rin tinira ng bading nun! Trivia lang: according to may super gay friend nurse--some guys are undergoing this treatment or procedure pag matindi ang pagkakapenetrate sa kanila ng anal sex. And for some girls naman--most of the payat freak models, they can also do this with the supervision of the doctor. KAwindang di ba? So for guys na nagpapanggap na straight then nag-undergo sa process na to--perhaps pwedeng yun ang rason, they are also gays!pamhin!haha!or we just pray na sana out of health reason lang din!hehe!;p

so far ok na siya and advice ko sa kanya? Bakla! Wag na kasi masyadong bumisyo at tumae ka sa oras!hahahaha! Timawa ka kasi! Heheeh! Naahhh! Kiddin! Seriously, I know she is ok now!hehe! Eat a lot of fiber! Kingina mga cliche's lang naman eh!haha!;p But seriously we need to follow it most of the time.

Ohhhhh ohhhhh set me free....release me now!!!!

-dulcolax!

APPLYING IT NAMAN TO LIFE'S SHIT PERSPECTIVE: WE NEED TO THROW AWAY THE TOXINS THAT DEFINITELY HAS NO PURPOSE ON IT EXCEPT ONLY FOR WASTE--IF NOT IT MIGHT KILL YOU!HAHA!* MAKES SENSE!* ;P